i just heard this scene between two old ladies outside Zam Zam deli on my corner. lady #1 is about 75 and fat and looks like an aged miss piggy. lady #2 is about 90 years old, wearing one of those hospital gowns that old ladies wear around the house with extremely thin frazzled white hair. they both have STRONG brooklyn jewish/italian accents and their families have clearly been warring block neighbors for decades. its a really nice early summer tuesday night around 10pm. the chair in question is clearly old and dirty and definitely not bought today.
1: excuse me thats my chair, i bought it today. thats my chair. i'd like to take it in now.
2: what?
1: you heard me that's my chair.
2: yeah and im sitting in it.
1: i'd like to take it in now. (to store owner:) shes sitting in my chair. i bought it today and i'd like to have it back now.
2: well i didnt have anything to sit in.
1: (grabbing chair from under old lady) you can sit in the rotting gutter for all i care.
2: (after a brief pause) well, thank you very much, you pig....(awkward silence as the chair owner begins to unlock her front door, and then she continues) i heard your house got robbed again. what the hell would they want in there anyway?
1: why dont you mind your own damn business?
2: i mean, what the hell could be YOUR house that they want?
1: (LOUDER) why don't you mind your own damn business? (and she goes inside. lady #2 sighs and does that famous brooklyn "to hell with ya" hand gesture)
hilarious.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment